Why is it so hard for you?

Today I tried to potty train Noam. I sat with him on the floor while Adina sat on the sidelines chewing her teething toy and probably thinking to herself, "thank God for diapers."

Noam was running around the house naked and I spent most of my time trying to catch him. I just wanted him to sit on the potty and not move until his business was done and I could give him a treat. Hurray, it would be over and he would be potty trained. Done. Right? Well no mommy, wrong.

"Stop trying to be in control of every situation and just let go" my nurturing soul tells me.

"No he must sit down and do as I say, now!" the other voice hollers.

And then, as he's frantically running around the room and I'm chasing him to try and stop the situation and gain some control, I manage to catch him in my arms and he stops. He looks straight into my eyes. I look back at him. He's wondering, "what did I do mommy?" I'm wondering, "What did he do, mommy?"

All I can think is why this little boy cannot just realize that if he runs around aimlessly, carelessly, he will bump into things, and eventually knock things over; a concept that is so simple to me.

So I look into those big brown eyes of wonderment and ask this two year old, "Why is it so hard for you to just understand the small, simple things, that to me are so clear?"

Okay so now he's really confused.

He's staring in my eyes, trying to catch his breath. I let go. He dashes at the first opportunity.

And I watch him, from afar, and think, "that is exactly what God must be thinking of me."

Life Lesson:
This is it, subtle, life altering opportunity for mommy right here, take it or you'll miss it. So I take it. I stop and think what am I supposed to learn from this?

God, in His abundant love and kindness, wants only the best for us. He wants us to run around and have fun. But He knows life without boundaries is an endless spiral downwards. It is not one filled with growth or revelation of self. It is a selfish existence to live just for yourself. And so in order to grow we must abide by the rules of relationships. I give to you and you give to me, and in turn we will love each other. If you give to me and I give to me, no one is giving to you and I'm in love with myself. The sure way to grow, God is teaching us, is to be a giver.

Why is it so hard for me to understand the small, simple things that to God are so clear? Just like Noam, we are really babies in God's 'eyes'. We adults walk around thinking we know what's best and we know what's right and no one can tell me what to do, I'm an adult! But there are many things, big and small, that we just don't understand the way God does, and He asks us to trust Him. "I understand why you can't understand the small, simple things that I understand so clearly" says God. And I love you for it, and I will take care of you for it, but trust me and realize that when I make fences for you, or I put up boundaries for you, it is out of love.

He knows if we run around aimlessly, carelessly, we will bump into things, and eventually knock things over.